Making a kiddush for a woman that has hard time finding shidduch
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There is a belief that if one did not make a kiddush for the birth of his daughter and that woman is having a hard time finding a shidduch, then they should make a kiddush and it will help.
I know from a halachic standpoint there isn't any obligation to make a kiddush, so where did this idea come from?
sources-mekorot minhag shidduchim-dating
edited Mar 11 at 13:26
Isaac Moses♦
32.7k1287275
asked Mar 10 at 15:24
samsam
26.5k149101
|
show 1 more comment
There is a belief that if one did not make a kiddush for the birth of his daughter and that woman is having a hard time finding a shidduch, then they should make a kiddush and it will help.
I know from a halachic standpoint there isn't any obligation to make a kiddush, so where did this idea come from?
sources-mekorot minhag shidduchim-dating
edited Mar 11 at 13:26
Isaac Moses♦
32.7k1287275
asked Mar 10 at 15:24
samsam
26.5k149101
Maybe it's because parents who have a strong attachment to their daughter are more likely both to make a kiddush for her and to help her find a shidduch.
– Heshy
Mar 10 at 15:38
1
It's a story from some Godol.
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 16:15
From the title I thought this was going to be a question about making kiddush for an older single girl who doesn’t live with her family.
– Alex
Mar 10 at 16:16
Maybe it comes from the idea that she'll meet bachelors at the kidush.
– msh210♦
Mar 10 at 16:27
@Alex I edited in the word "a" before the word "kiddush".
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 16:28
|
show 1 more comment
There is a belief that if one did not make a kiddush for the birth of his daughter and that woman is having a hard time finding a shidduch, then they should make a kiddush and it will help.
I know from a halachic standpoint there isn't any obligation to make a kiddush, so where did this idea come from?
sources-mekorot minhag shidduchim-dating
edited Mar 11 at 13:26
Isaac Moses♦
32.7k1287275
asked Mar 10 at 15:24
samsam
26.5k149101
There is a belief that if one did not make a kiddush for the birth of his daughter and that woman is having a hard time finding a shidduch, then they should make a kiddush and it will help.
I know from a halachic standpoint there isn't any obligation to make a kiddush, so where did this idea come from?
sources-mekorot minhag shidduchim-dating
sources-mekorot minhag shidduchim-dating
edited Mar 11 at 13:26
Isaac Moses♦
32.7k1287275
asked Mar 10 at 15:24
samsam
26.5k149101
edited Mar 11 at 13:26
Isaac Moses♦
32.7k1287275
asked Mar 10 at 15:24
samsam
26.5k149101
edited Mar 11 at 13:26
Isaac Moses♦
32.7k1287275
edited Mar 11 at 13:26
Isaac Moses♦
32.7k1287275
edited Mar 11 at 13:26
Isaac Moses♦
32.7k1287275
32.7k1287275
asked Mar 10 at 15:24
samsam
26.5k149101
asked Mar 10 at 15:24
samsam
26.5k149101
asked Mar 10 at 15:24
samsam
26.5k149101
26.5k149101
Maybe it's because parents who have a strong attachment to their daughter are more likely both to make a kiddush for her and to help her find a shidduch.
– Heshy
Mar 10 at 15:38
1
It's a story from some Godol.
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 16:15
From the title I thought this was going to be a question about making kiddush for an older single girl who doesn’t live with her family.
– Alex
Mar 10 at 16:16
Maybe it comes from the idea that she'll meet bachelors at the kidush.
– msh210♦
Mar 10 at 16:27
@Alex I edited in the word "a" before the word "kiddush".
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 16:28
|
show 1 more comment
Maybe it's because parents who have a strong attachment to their daughter are more likely both to make a kiddush for her and to help her find a shidduch.
– Heshy
Mar 10 at 15:38
1
It's a story from some Godol.
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 16:15
From the title I thought this was going to be a question about making kiddush for an older single girl who doesn’t live with her family.
– Alex
Mar 10 at 16:16
Maybe it comes from the idea that she'll meet bachelors at the kidush.
– msh210♦
Mar 10 at 16:27
@Alex I edited in the word "a" before the word "kiddush".
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 16:28
Maybe it's because parents who have a strong attachment to their daughter are more likely both to make a kiddush for her and to help her find a shidduch.
– Heshy
Mar 10 at 15:38
Maybe it's because parents who have a strong attachment to their daughter are more likely both to make a kiddush for her and to help her find a shidduch.
– Heshy
Mar 10 at 15:38
1
1
It's a story from some Godol.
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 16:15
It's a story from some Godol.
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 16:15
From the title I thought this was going to be a question about making kiddush for an older single girl who doesn’t live with her family.
– Alex
Mar 10 at 16:16
From the title I thought this was going to be a question about making kiddush for an older single girl who doesn’t live with her family.
– Alex
Mar 10 at 16:16
Maybe it comes from the idea that she'll meet bachelors at the kidush.
– msh210♦
Mar 10 at 16:27
Maybe it comes from the idea that she'll meet bachelors at the kidush.
– msh210♦
Mar 10 at 16:27
@Alex I edited in the word "a" before the word "kiddush".
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 16:28
@Alex I edited in the word "a" before the word "kiddush".
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 16:28
|
show 1 more comment
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
The Rav of Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ debunks the legend about this story here (edited).
So the idea is a made-up story.
Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, known as The Steipler (1899–1985) was
reported to have told a father of a woman who was having difficulty in
finding a shidduch that the reason she was experiencing such
difficulty was the fact that upon her birth her father failed to make
a kiddush in her honor. As brochos are traditionally bestowed upon
the new born baby girl for her to grow and marry at the kiddush, since
the father did not have a kiddush in her honor no brochus were
bestowed and therefore she is now suffering with not finding her
‘bashert’.
This Shtetl Legend appears in Jewish story books and I myself was
present at a Kiddush where a Rabbi related the story.
In the Sefer Derech Sicha (volume one page 33) - a compilation of
Torah thoughts by Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita (the ONLY son of Rabbi
Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky Zt”l) it is related that when he was told of
this ‘quote’ from his father he responded: “Who made this up? Wouldn’t
I have heard about it?! He never said to make a kiddush in our
family.”
I myself asked Rav Chaim about this Shtetl Legend quoted in the name
of his father and he debunked it to me as well while adding, “perhaps
for the first daughter you could (if you want) make a Kiddush)
however, there is no obligation to make a Kiddush for a daughter at
all and my father never said there was.”
Ron Yitzchok Eisenman, Rabbi, Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ
Text of Derech Sicha:
edited Mar 10 at 17:37
sam
26.5k149101
answered Mar 10 at 16:27
Avrohom YitzchokAvrohom Yitzchok
31.5k633101
Excellent find ,thank you!
– sam
Mar 10 at 17:37
@sam ... and well done to you for accessing the actual text!
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 19:53
Was he the only Gadol who this "segula" was cited from? Maybe another Gadol actually did start the trend
– robev
Mar 11 at 14:01
The main point is that it does not have a mekor, because if it did Rav Chaim would know
– sam
Mar 11 at 14:30
add a comment |
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
The Rav of Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ debunks the legend about this story here (edited).
So the idea is a made-up story.
Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, known as The Steipler (1899–1985) was
reported to have told a father of a woman who was having difficulty in
finding a shidduch that the reason she was experiencing such
difficulty was the fact that upon her birth her father failed to make
a kiddush in her honor. As brochos are traditionally bestowed upon
the new born baby girl for her to grow and marry at the kiddush, since
the father did not have a kiddush in her honor no brochus were
bestowed and therefore she is now suffering with not finding her
‘bashert’.
This Shtetl Legend appears in Jewish story books and I myself was
present at a Kiddush where a Rabbi related the story.
In the Sefer Derech Sicha (volume one page 33) - a compilation of
Torah thoughts by Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita (the ONLY son of Rabbi
Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky Zt”l) it is related that when he was told of
this ‘quote’ from his father he responded: “Who made this up? Wouldn’t
I have heard about it?! He never said to make a kiddush in our
family.”
I myself asked Rav Chaim about this Shtetl Legend quoted in the name
of his father and he debunked it to me as well while adding, “perhaps
for the first daughter you could (if you want) make a Kiddush)
however, there is no obligation to make a Kiddush for a daughter at
all and my father never said there was.”
Ron Yitzchok Eisenman, Rabbi, Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ
Text of Derech Sicha:
edited Mar 10 at 17:37
sam
26.5k149101
answered Mar 10 at 16:27
Avrohom YitzchokAvrohom Yitzchok
31.5k633101
Excellent find ,thank you!
– sam
Mar 10 at 17:37
@sam ... and well done to you for accessing the actual text!
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 19:53
Was he the only Gadol who this "segula" was cited from? Maybe another Gadol actually did start the trend
– robev
Mar 11 at 14:01
The main point is that it does not have a mekor, because if it did Rav Chaim would know
– sam
Mar 11 at 14:30
add a comment |
The Rav of Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ debunks the legend about this story here (edited).
So the idea is a made-up story.
Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, known as The Steipler (1899–1985) was
reported to have told a father of a woman who was having difficulty in
finding a shidduch that the reason she was experiencing such
difficulty was the fact that upon her birth her father failed to make
a kiddush in her honor. As brochos are traditionally bestowed upon
the new born baby girl for her to grow and marry at the kiddush, since
the father did not have a kiddush in her honor no brochus were
bestowed and therefore she is now suffering with not finding her
‘bashert’.
This Shtetl Legend appears in Jewish story books and I myself was
present at a Kiddush where a Rabbi related the story.
In the Sefer Derech Sicha (volume one page 33) - a compilation of
Torah thoughts by Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita (the ONLY son of Rabbi
Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky Zt”l) it is related that when he was told of
this ‘quote’ from his father he responded: “Who made this up? Wouldn’t
I have heard about it?! He never said to make a kiddush in our
family.”
I myself asked Rav Chaim about this Shtetl Legend quoted in the name
of his father and he debunked it to me as well while adding, “perhaps
for the first daughter you could (if you want) make a Kiddush)
however, there is no obligation to make a Kiddush for a daughter at
all and my father never said there was.”
Ron Yitzchok Eisenman, Rabbi, Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ
Text of Derech Sicha:
edited Mar 10 at 17:37
sam
26.5k149101
answered Mar 10 at 16:27
Avrohom YitzchokAvrohom Yitzchok
31.5k633101
Excellent find ,thank you!
– sam
Mar 10 at 17:37
@sam ... and well done to you for accessing the actual text!
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 19:53
Was he the only Gadol who this "segula" was cited from? Maybe another Gadol actually did start the trend
– robev
Mar 11 at 14:01
The main point is that it does not have a mekor, because if it did Rav Chaim would know
– sam
Mar 11 at 14:30
add a comment |
The Rav of Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ debunks the legend about this story here (edited).
So the idea is a made-up story.
Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, known as The Steipler (1899–1985) was
reported to have told a father of a woman who was having difficulty in
finding a shidduch that the reason she was experiencing such
difficulty was the fact that upon her birth her father failed to make
a kiddush in her honor. As brochos are traditionally bestowed upon
the new born baby girl for her to grow and marry at the kiddush, since
the father did not have a kiddush in her honor no brochus were
bestowed and therefore she is now suffering with not finding her
‘bashert’.
This Shtetl Legend appears in Jewish story books and I myself was
present at a Kiddush where a Rabbi related the story.
In the Sefer Derech Sicha (volume one page 33) - a compilation of
Torah thoughts by Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita (the ONLY son of Rabbi
Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky Zt”l) it is related that when he was told of
this ‘quote’ from his father he responded: “Who made this up? Wouldn’t
I have heard about it?! He never said to make a kiddush in our
family.”
I myself asked Rav Chaim about this Shtetl Legend quoted in the name
of his father and he debunked it to me as well while adding, “perhaps
for the first daughter you could (if you want) make a Kiddush)
however, there is no obligation to make a Kiddush for a daughter at
all and my father never said there was.”
Ron Yitzchok Eisenman, Rabbi, Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ
Text of Derech Sicha:
edited Mar 10 at 17:37
sam
26.5k149101
answered Mar 10 at 16:27
Avrohom YitzchokAvrohom Yitzchok
31.5k633101
The Rav of Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ debunks the legend about this story here (edited).
So the idea is a made-up story.
Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, known as The Steipler (1899–1985) was
reported to have told a father of a woman who was having difficulty in
finding a shidduch that the reason she was experiencing such
difficulty was the fact that upon her birth her father failed to make
a kiddush in her honor. As brochos are traditionally bestowed upon
the new born baby girl for her to grow and marry at the kiddush, since
the father did not have a kiddush in her honor no brochus were
bestowed and therefore she is now suffering with not finding her
‘bashert’.
This Shtetl Legend appears in Jewish story books and I myself was
present at a Kiddush where a Rabbi related the story.
In the Sefer Derech Sicha (volume one page 33) - a compilation of
Torah thoughts by Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita (the ONLY son of Rabbi
Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky Zt”l) it is related that when he was told of
this ‘quote’ from his father he responded: “Who made this up? Wouldn’t
I have heard about it?! He never said to make a kiddush in our
family.”
I myself asked Rav Chaim about this Shtetl Legend quoted in the name
of his father and he debunked it to me as well while adding, “perhaps
for the first daughter you could (if you want) make a Kiddush)
however, there is no obligation to make a Kiddush for a daughter at
all and my father never said there was.”
Ron Yitzchok Eisenman, Rabbi, Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ
Text of Derech Sicha:
edited Mar 10 at 17:37
sam
26.5k149101
answered Mar 10 at 16:27
Avrohom YitzchokAvrohom Yitzchok
31.5k633101
edited Mar 10 at 17:37
sam
26.5k149101
edited Mar 10 at 17:37
sam
26.5k149101
edited Mar 10 at 17:37
sam
26.5k149101
26.5k149101
answered Mar 10 at 16:27
Avrohom YitzchokAvrohom Yitzchok
31.5k633101
answered Mar 10 at 16:27
Avrohom YitzchokAvrohom Yitzchok
31.5k633101
answered Mar 10 at 16:27
Avrohom YitzchokAvrohom Yitzchok
31.5k633101
31.5k633101
Excellent find ,thank you!
– sam
Mar 10 at 17:37
@sam ... and well done to you for accessing the actual text!
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 19:53
Was he the only Gadol who this "segula" was cited from? Maybe another Gadol actually did start the trend
– robev
Mar 11 at 14:01
The main point is that it does not have a mekor, because if it did Rav Chaim would know
– sam
Mar 11 at 14:30
add a comment |
Excellent find ,thank you!
– sam
Mar 10 at 17:37
@sam ... and well done to you for accessing the actual text!
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 19:53
Was he the only Gadol who this "segula" was cited from? Maybe another Gadol actually did start the trend
– robev
Mar 11 at 14:01
The main point is that it does not have a mekor, because if it did Rav Chaim would know
– sam
Mar 11 at 14:30
Excellent find ,thank you!
– sam
Mar 10 at 17:37
Excellent find ,thank you!
– sam
Mar 10 at 17:37
@sam ... and well done to you for accessing the actual text!
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 19:53
@sam ... and well done to you for accessing the actual text!
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 19:53
Was he the only Gadol who this "segula" was cited from? Maybe another Gadol actually did start the trend
– robev
Mar 11 at 14:01
Was he the only Gadol who this "segula" was cited from? Maybe another Gadol actually did start the trend
– robev
Mar 11 at 14:01
The main point is that it does not have a mekor, because if it did Rav Chaim would know
– sam
Mar 11 at 14:30
The main point is that it does not have a mekor, because if it did Rav Chaim would know
– sam
Mar 11 at 14:30
add a comment |
Maybe it's because parents who have a strong attachment to their daughter are more likely both to make a kiddush for her and to help her find a shidduch.
– Heshy
Mar 10 at 15:38
1
It's a story from some Godol.
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 16:15
From the title I thought this was going to be a question about making kiddush for an older single girl who doesn’t live with her family.
– Alex
Mar 10 at 16:16
Maybe it comes from the idea that she'll meet bachelors at the kidush.
– msh210♦
Mar 10 at 16:27
@Alex I edited in the word "a" before the word "kiddush".
– Avrohom Yitzchok
Mar 10 at 16:28