What's the difference between “belong TO me” and “belong WITH me”?

The name of the pictureThe name of the pictureThe name of the pictureClash Royale CLAN TAG#URR8PPP












10















What's the difference between "belong to me" and "belong with me"?



For example:




"My darling, I'm very happy that you belong to me."



"My darling, I'm very happy that you belong with me." (one example in a song)




What's the difference between these two sentences?










share|improve this question




























    10















    What's the difference between "belong to me" and "belong with me"?



    For example:




    "My darling, I'm very happy that you belong to me."



    "My darling, I'm very happy that you belong with me." (one example in a song)




    What's the difference between these two sentences?










    share|improve this question


























      10












      10








      10








      What's the difference between "belong to me" and "belong with me"?



      For example:




      "My darling, I'm very happy that you belong to me."



      "My darling, I'm very happy that you belong with me." (one example in a song)




      What's the difference between these two sentences?










      share|improve this question
















      What's the difference between "belong to me" and "belong with me"?



      For example:




      "My darling, I'm very happy that you belong to me."



      "My darling, I'm very happy that you belong with me." (one example in a song)




      What's the difference between these two sentences?







      meaning-in-context difference






      share|improve this question















      share|improve this question













      share|improve this question




      share|improve this question








      edited Feb 11 at 15:00









      FumbleFingers

      45.7k155122




      45.7k155122










      asked Feb 11 at 14:52









      Witty loquacityWitty loquacity

      11.7k68191347




      11.7k68191347




















          3 Answers
          3






          active

          oldest

          votes


















          18















          You belong to me

          I "own" you - I have "rights" over you, I can make decisions on your behalf, etc.

          Often with the implication that I define the "value judgement" framework governing our relationship.



          You belong with me

          It is right and proper that you should be close to me

          Often with the implication that the reason for this assertion is either to comply with some "external" value system, or because it's in your best interests (not necessarily just because it's what I want).




          As an example of a clear-cut differentiating context, suppose on his first day at a new school, a student is unsure whether to go into classroom A or classroom B. A second student - himself a new arrival - knows that all new students should report to classroom A on their first day. He might say You belong with me, as he invites the other to follow him into the correct classroom.



          That second student would never say You belong to me. But if it was the teacher (about to go into classroom A herself, and having been asked by the first new arrival where he should go), it would be at least feasible1 for her to use to instead of with.




          1 As per comments below, at least some people would find the teacher's use of belong to inappropriate / offensive. Which simply goes to prove the point that asserting a person "belongs to" another person strongly implies that the (usually, metaphoric) "owner" may be exercising undue dominance.






          share|improve this answer




















          • 1





            it would be inappropriate for the teacher to use to

            – WendyG
            Feb 11 at 15:41






          • 3





            @WendyG: I did only say feasible, but honestly, I think saying it would be "inappropriate" is a bit over-sensitive. Would you excuse the teacher if she said You belong to my class? (Yeah, yeah - I know that in practice she'd be more likely to say You belong in my class, but that's not the point.)

            – FumbleFingers
            Feb 11 at 15:46







          • 1





            inappropriate may have been the wrong word in a meToo world. I was meaning unsuitable, it turns out according to cambridge this is only an american usage, you learn something every day

            – WendyG
            Feb 11 at 16:06






          • 4





            The more authoritarian a school environment, the more likely it would be to hear a teacher or administrator use "you belong to me", as in, "When you are in my class, you belong to me. You will do what I say, when I say, and how I say to do it..." But I think that usage just reinforces the ownership aspect of the phrase in the sense that the teacher "owns" hiser class and the students in the class are subject to that ownership. Or think of the military drill sergeant, "For the next 16 weeks, maggot, you belong to me!"

            – geneSummons
            Feb 11 at 23:36






          • 2





            @Lambie I also know the difference. You are making a black and white statement, and I am providing you evidence that there is more grey than you think. That may be the only 'reasonable' interpretation TO YOU, but it isn't to me. Let's agree to disagree, I just wanted to provide my perspective, and you seem more interested in proving that you are "right" and I am "wrong" despite my broad experience with it (remember, 20-30 different teachers have said this).

            – Aethenosity
            Feb 12 at 23:31



















          9














          “Belong to me” suggests possession. When something belongs to you, you own it. But when speaking about people the possession is of course not literal.



          “Belong with me” does not have the connotation of possession- it is just saying the person or thing and the speaker (“me”) should be together.



          When talking about romantic partners, I think the former (“to”) suggests an existing relationship (“you are already my partner and I am happy about that”), whereas the latter (“with”) suggests a desire that the subject be in a relationship with the speaker (“you should be my partner”/“I wish you were my partner”).






          share|improve this answer
































            5















            You belong to me I "own" you



            • I have "rights" over you, I can make decisions on your behalf, etc.

              Often with the implication that I
              define the "value judgement" framework governing our relationship.

            You belong with me



            • It is right and proper that you should be close to me.

              Often with the implication that the reason for this assertion is
              either to comply with some "external" value system, or because it's in
              your best interests (not necessarily just because it's what I want).



            I have stolen this section completely from Fumble Fingers answer, as I agree with this totally. But I disagree with the analysis there.



            Many people still romantically love the idea of "belonging to" someone, see this Dean Martin song:




            You Belong to Me



            Dean Martin



            Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle

            See the pyramids along the Nile

            Just remember darlin', all the while

            You belong to me




            BUT



            Many people dislike the phrase, as they don't like being described as being owned by someone. This takes in the background of women literally being their husbands property for hundreds of years in the UK*.



            To contrast here is the Police Song "Every Breath You Take", some people consider this a romantic song even though it was written to be a creepy song about a stalker citation of Sting




            Every single day

            Every word you say

            Every game you play

            Every night you stay

            I'll be watching you



            Oh can't you see

            You belong to me

            My
            poor heart aches

            With every step you take




            And it takes in the
            controlling nature of some relationships where one partner has the belief they are correct to control completely the other partner's every action and sometimes thoughts.



            Even if people don't think of literal ownership, it sounds possessive and slightly controlling.



            I would imagine the descendants of slaves are also not keen on this terminology, but I base this on nothing more than how I think I would feel.



            So I would recommend not using the TO form yourself, as you never know how the other person will take it.




            *I believe America is the same but my American social history is not good enough to make a definite statement.






            share|improve this answer

























            • Contrast those lyrics with the lyrics to Sting's Every Breath You Take in which "You belong to me" distinctly adds to the creepiness of all the "I'll be watching you" verses. The choruses and the bridge seem to lean more toward to the romantic interpretation taking "to" to mean "with". But I think Sting very deliberately chose to use "You belong to me" instead of "with me" to end the first line of the chorus; to keep the creepiness simmering, and to twist the straight-up lonely romantic achiness of the bridge more toward creepy-land.

              – geneSummons
              Feb 11 at 23:16






            • 1





              "Many people are beginning to dislike the phrase" : Beginning to? using the phrase "you belong to me" in this sort of relationship context has always had an uncomfortable edge to it & been subject to disapproval throughout my life, not counting early childhood that's from the 70's on, so you have that wrong.

              – Pelinore
              Feb 12 at 1:37






            • 1





              @geneSummons in interviews Sting is confused why people find that song as romantic it was written as a creepy stalker song.

              – WendyG
              Feb 12 at 9:26






            • 2





              @Pelinore, That is me couching my lack of history on the issue in vague phrases. And if I wanted a pedantic (hopefully humorous response) I could say dislike since the 60s is recently as women have belonged to men for hundreds of years

              – WendyG
              Feb 12 at 9:29










            Your Answer








            StackExchange.ready(function()
            var channelOptions =
            tags: "".split(" "),
            id: "481"
            ;
            initTagRenderer("".split(" "), "".split(" "), channelOptions);

            StackExchange.using("externalEditor", function()
            // Have to fire editor after snippets, if snippets enabled
            if (StackExchange.settings.snippets.snippetsEnabled)
            StackExchange.using("snippets", function()
            createEditor();
            );

            else
            createEditor();

            );

            function createEditor()
            StackExchange.prepareEditor(
            heartbeatType: 'answer',
            autoActivateHeartbeat: false,
            convertImagesToLinks: false,
            noModals: true,
            showLowRepImageUploadWarning: true,
            reputationToPostImages: null,
            bindNavPrevention: true,
            postfix: "",
            imageUploader:
            brandingHtml: "Powered by u003ca class="icon-imgur-white" href="https://imgur.com/"u003eu003c/au003e",
            contentPolicyHtml: "User contributions licensed under u003ca href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/"u003ecc by-sa 3.0 with attribution requiredu003c/au003e u003ca href="https://stackoverflow.com/legal/content-policy"u003e(content policy)u003c/au003e",
            allowUrls: true
            ,
            noCode: true, onDemand: true,
            discardSelector: ".discard-answer"
            ,immediatelyShowMarkdownHelp:true
            );



            );













            draft saved

            draft discarded


















            StackExchange.ready(
            function ()
            StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fell.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f196291%2fwhats-the-difference-between-belong-to-me-and-belong-with-me%23new-answer', 'question_page');

            );

            Post as a guest















            Required, but never shown

























            3 Answers
            3






            active

            oldest

            votes








            3 Answers
            3






            active

            oldest

            votes









            active

            oldest

            votes






            active

            oldest

            votes









            18















            You belong to me

            I "own" you - I have "rights" over you, I can make decisions on your behalf, etc.

            Often with the implication that I define the "value judgement" framework governing our relationship.



            You belong with me

            It is right and proper that you should be close to me

            Often with the implication that the reason for this assertion is either to comply with some "external" value system, or because it's in your best interests (not necessarily just because it's what I want).




            As an example of a clear-cut differentiating context, suppose on his first day at a new school, a student is unsure whether to go into classroom A or classroom B. A second student - himself a new arrival - knows that all new students should report to classroom A on their first day. He might say You belong with me, as he invites the other to follow him into the correct classroom.



            That second student would never say You belong to me. But if it was the teacher (about to go into classroom A herself, and having been asked by the first new arrival where he should go), it would be at least feasible1 for her to use to instead of with.




            1 As per comments below, at least some people would find the teacher's use of belong to inappropriate / offensive. Which simply goes to prove the point that asserting a person "belongs to" another person strongly implies that the (usually, metaphoric) "owner" may be exercising undue dominance.






            share|improve this answer




















            • 1





              it would be inappropriate for the teacher to use to

              – WendyG
              Feb 11 at 15:41






            • 3





              @WendyG: I did only say feasible, but honestly, I think saying it would be "inappropriate" is a bit over-sensitive. Would you excuse the teacher if she said You belong to my class? (Yeah, yeah - I know that in practice she'd be more likely to say You belong in my class, but that's not the point.)

              – FumbleFingers
              Feb 11 at 15:46







            • 1





              inappropriate may have been the wrong word in a meToo world. I was meaning unsuitable, it turns out according to cambridge this is only an american usage, you learn something every day

              – WendyG
              Feb 11 at 16:06






            • 4





              The more authoritarian a school environment, the more likely it would be to hear a teacher or administrator use "you belong to me", as in, "When you are in my class, you belong to me. You will do what I say, when I say, and how I say to do it..." But I think that usage just reinforces the ownership aspect of the phrase in the sense that the teacher "owns" hiser class and the students in the class are subject to that ownership. Or think of the military drill sergeant, "For the next 16 weeks, maggot, you belong to me!"

              – geneSummons
              Feb 11 at 23:36






            • 2





              @Lambie I also know the difference. You are making a black and white statement, and I am providing you evidence that there is more grey than you think. That may be the only 'reasonable' interpretation TO YOU, but it isn't to me. Let's agree to disagree, I just wanted to provide my perspective, and you seem more interested in proving that you are "right" and I am "wrong" despite my broad experience with it (remember, 20-30 different teachers have said this).

              – Aethenosity
              Feb 12 at 23:31
















            18















            You belong to me

            I "own" you - I have "rights" over you, I can make decisions on your behalf, etc.

            Often with the implication that I define the "value judgement" framework governing our relationship.



            You belong with me

            It is right and proper that you should be close to me

            Often with the implication that the reason for this assertion is either to comply with some "external" value system, or because it's in your best interests (not necessarily just because it's what I want).




            As an example of a clear-cut differentiating context, suppose on his first day at a new school, a student is unsure whether to go into classroom A or classroom B. A second student - himself a new arrival - knows that all new students should report to classroom A on their first day. He might say You belong with me, as he invites the other to follow him into the correct classroom.



            That second student would never say You belong to me. But if it was the teacher (about to go into classroom A herself, and having been asked by the first new arrival where he should go), it would be at least feasible1 for her to use to instead of with.




            1 As per comments below, at least some people would find the teacher's use of belong to inappropriate / offensive. Which simply goes to prove the point that asserting a person "belongs to" another person strongly implies that the (usually, metaphoric) "owner" may be exercising undue dominance.






            share|improve this answer




















            • 1





              it would be inappropriate for the teacher to use to

              – WendyG
              Feb 11 at 15:41






            • 3





              @WendyG: I did only say feasible, but honestly, I think saying it would be "inappropriate" is a bit over-sensitive. Would you excuse the teacher if she said You belong to my class? (Yeah, yeah - I know that in practice she'd be more likely to say You belong in my class, but that's not the point.)

              – FumbleFingers
              Feb 11 at 15:46







            • 1





              inappropriate may have been the wrong word in a meToo world. I was meaning unsuitable, it turns out according to cambridge this is only an american usage, you learn something every day

              – WendyG
              Feb 11 at 16:06






            • 4





              The more authoritarian a school environment, the more likely it would be to hear a teacher or administrator use "you belong to me", as in, "When you are in my class, you belong to me. You will do what I say, when I say, and how I say to do it..." But I think that usage just reinforces the ownership aspect of the phrase in the sense that the teacher "owns" hiser class and the students in the class are subject to that ownership. Or think of the military drill sergeant, "For the next 16 weeks, maggot, you belong to me!"

              – geneSummons
              Feb 11 at 23:36






            • 2





              @Lambie I also know the difference. You are making a black and white statement, and I am providing you evidence that there is more grey than you think. That may be the only 'reasonable' interpretation TO YOU, but it isn't to me. Let's agree to disagree, I just wanted to provide my perspective, and you seem more interested in proving that you are "right" and I am "wrong" despite my broad experience with it (remember, 20-30 different teachers have said this).

              – Aethenosity
              Feb 12 at 23:31














            18












            18








            18








            You belong to me

            I "own" you - I have "rights" over you, I can make decisions on your behalf, etc.

            Often with the implication that I define the "value judgement" framework governing our relationship.



            You belong with me

            It is right and proper that you should be close to me

            Often with the implication that the reason for this assertion is either to comply with some "external" value system, or because it's in your best interests (not necessarily just because it's what I want).




            As an example of a clear-cut differentiating context, suppose on his first day at a new school, a student is unsure whether to go into classroom A or classroom B. A second student - himself a new arrival - knows that all new students should report to classroom A on their first day. He might say You belong with me, as he invites the other to follow him into the correct classroom.



            That second student would never say You belong to me. But if it was the teacher (about to go into classroom A herself, and having been asked by the first new arrival where he should go), it would be at least feasible1 for her to use to instead of with.




            1 As per comments below, at least some people would find the teacher's use of belong to inappropriate / offensive. Which simply goes to prove the point that asserting a person "belongs to" another person strongly implies that the (usually, metaphoric) "owner" may be exercising undue dominance.






            share|improve this answer
















            You belong to me

            I "own" you - I have "rights" over you, I can make decisions on your behalf, etc.

            Often with the implication that I define the "value judgement" framework governing our relationship.



            You belong with me

            It is right and proper that you should be close to me

            Often with the implication that the reason for this assertion is either to comply with some "external" value system, or because it's in your best interests (not necessarily just because it's what I want).




            As an example of a clear-cut differentiating context, suppose on his first day at a new school, a student is unsure whether to go into classroom A or classroom B. A second student - himself a new arrival - knows that all new students should report to classroom A on their first day. He might say You belong with me, as he invites the other to follow him into the correct classroom.



            That second student would never say You belong to me. But if it was the teacher (about to go into classroom A herself, and having been asked by the first new arrival where he should go), it would be at least feasible1 for her to use to instead of with.




            1 As per comments below, at least some people would find the teacher's use of belong to inappropriate / offensive. Which simply goes to prove the point that asserting a person "belongs to" another person strongly implies that the (usually, metaphoric) "owner" may be exercising undue dominance.







            share|improve this answer














            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer








            edited Feb 11 at 17:24

























            answered Feb 11 at 15:32









            FumbleFingersFumbleFingers

            45.7k155122




            45.7k155122







            • 1





              it would be inappropriate for the teacher to use to

              – WendyG
              Feb 11 at 15:41






            • 3





              @WendyG: I did only say feasible, but honestly, I think saying it would be "inappropriate" is a bit over-sensitive. Would you excuse the teacher if she said You belong to my class? (Yeah, yeah - I know that in practice she'd be more likely to say You belong in my class, but that's not the point.)

              – FumbleFingers
              Feb 11 at 15:46







            • 1





              inappropriate may have been the wrong word in a meToo world. I was meaning unsuitable, it turns out according to cambridge this is only an american usage, you learn something every day

              – WendyG
              Feb 11 at 16:06






            • 4





              The more authoritarian a school environment, the more likely it would be to hear a teacher or administrator use "you belong to me", as in, "When you are in my class, you belong to me. You will do what I say, when I say, and how I say to do it..." But I think that usage just reinforces the ownership aspect of the phrase in the sense that the teacher "owns" hiser class and the students in the class are subject to that ownership. Or think of the military drill sergeant, "For the next 16 weeks, maggot, you belong to me!"

              – geneSummons
              Feb 11 at 23:36






            • 2





              @Lambie I also know the difference. You are making a black and white statement, and I am providing you evidence that there is more grey than you think. That may be the only 'reasonable' interpretation TO YOU, but it isn't to me. Let's agree to disagree, I just wanted to provide my perspective, and you seem more interested in proving that you are "right" and I am "wrong" despite my broad experience with it (remember, 20-30 different teachers have said this).

              – Aethenosity
              Feb 12 at 23:31













            • 1





              it would be inappropriate for the teacher to use to

              – WendyG
              Feb 11 at 15:41






            • 3





              @WendyG: I did only say feasible, but honestly, I think saying it would be "inappropriate" is a bit over-sensitive. Would you excuse the teacher if she said You belong to my class? (Yeah, yeah - I know that in practice she'd be more likely to say You belong in my class, but that's not the point.)

              – FumbleFingers
              Feb 11 at 15:46







            • 1





              inappropriate may have been the wrong word in a meToo world. I was meaning unsuitable, it turns out according to cambridge this is only an american usage, you learn something every day

              – WendyG
              Feb 11 at 16:06






            • 4





              The more authoritarian a school environment, the more likely it would be to hear a teacher or administrator use "you belong to me", as in, "When you are in my class, you belong to me. You will do what I say, when I say, and how I say to do it..." But I think that usage just reinforces the ownership aspect of the phrase in the sense that the teacher "owns" hiser class and the students in the class are subject to that ownership. Or think of the military drill sergeant, "For the next 16 weeks, maggot, you belong to me!"

              – geneSummons
              Feb 11 at 23:36






            • 2





              @Lambie I also know the difference. You are making a black and white statement, and I am providing you evidence that there is more grey than you think. That may be the only 'reasonable' interpretation TO YOU, but it isn't to me. Let's agree to disagree, I just wanted to provide my perspective, and you seem more interested in proving that you are "right" and I am "wrong" despite my broad experience with it (remember, 20-30 different teachers have said this).

              – Aethenosity
              Feb 12 at 23:31








            1




            1





            it would be inappropriate for the teacher to use to

            – WendyG
            Feb 11 at 15:41





            it would be inappropriate for the teacher to use to

            – WendyG
            Feb 11 at 15:41




            3




            3





            @WendyG: I did only say feasible, but honestly, I think saying it would be "inappropriate" is a bit over-sensitive. Would you excuse the teacher if she said You belong to my class? (Yeah, yeah - I know that in practice she'd be more likely to say You belong in my class, but that's not the point.)

            – FumbleFingers
            Feb 11 at 15:46






            @WendyG: I did only say feasible, but honestly, I think saying it would be "inappropriate" is a bit over-sensitive. Would you excuse the teacher if she said You belong to my class? (Yeah, yeah - I know that in practice she'd be more likely to say You belong in my class, but that's not the point.)

            – FumbleFingers
            Feb 11 at 15:46





            1




            1





            inappropriate may have been the wrong word in a meToo world. I was meaning unsuitable, it turns out according to cambridge this is only an american usage, you learn something every day

            – WendyG
            Feb 11 at 16:06





            inappropriate may have been the wrong word in a meToo world. I was meaning unsuitable, it turns out according to cambridge this is only an american usage, you learn something every day

            – WendyG
            Feb 11 at 16:06




            4




            4





            The more authoritarian a school environment, the more likely it would be to hear a teacher or administrator use "you belong to me", as in, "When you are in my class, you belong to me. You will do what I say, when I say, and how I say to do it..." But I think that usage just reinforces the ownership aspect of the phrase in the sense that the teacher "owns" hiser class and the students in the class are subject to that ownership. Or think of the military drill sergeant, "For the next 16 weeks, maggot, you belong to me!"

            – geneSummons
            Feb 11 at 23:36





            The more authoritarian a school environment, the more likely it would be to hear a teacher or administrator use "you belong to me", as in, "When you are in my class, you belong to me. You will do what I say, when I say, and how I say to do it..." But I think that usage just reinforces the ownership aspect of the phrase in the sense that the teacher "owns" hiser class and the students in the class are subject to that ownership. Or think of the military drill sergeant, "For the next 16 weeks, maggot, you belong to me!"

            – geneSummons
            Feb 11 at 23:36




            2




            2





            @Lambie I also know the difference. You are making a black and white statement, and I am providing you evidence that there is more grey than you think. That may be the only 'reasonable' interpretation TO YOU, but it isn't to me. Let's agree to disagree, I just wanted to provide my perspective, and you seem more interested in proving that you are "right" and I am "wrong" despite my broad experience with it (remember, 20-30 different teachers have said this).

            – Aethenosity
            Feb 12 at 23:31






            @Lambie I also know the difference. You are making a black and white statement, and I am providing you evidence that there is more grey than you think. That may be the only 'reasonable' interpretation TO YOU, but it isn't to me. Let's agree to disagree, I just wanted to provide my perspective, and you seem more interested in proving that you are "right" and I am "wrong" despite my broad experience with it (remember, 20-30 different teachers have said this).

            – Aethenosity
            Feb 12 at 23:31














            9














            “Belong to me” suggests possession. When something belongs to you, you own it. But when speaking about people the possession is of course not literal.



            “Belong with me” does not have the connotation of possession- it is just saying the person or thing and the speaker (“me”) should be together.



            When talking about romantic partners, I think the former (“to”) suggests an existing relationship (“you are already my partner and I am happy about that”), whereas the latter (“with”) suggests a desire that the subject be in a relationship with the speaker (“you should be my partner”/“I wish you were my partner”).






            share|improve this answer





























              9














              “Belong to me” suggests possession. When something belongs to you, you own it. But when speaking about people the possession is of course not literal.



              “Belong with me” does not have the connotation of possession- it is just saying the person or thing and the speaker (“me”) should be together.



              When talking about romantic partners, I think the former (“to”) suggests an existing relationship (“you are already my partner and I am happy about that”), whereas the latter (“with”) suggests a desire that the subject be in a relationship with the speaker (“you should be my partner”/“I wish you were my partner”).






              share|improve this answer



























                9












                9








                9







                “Belong to me” suggests possession. When something belongs to you, you own it. But when speaking about people the possession is of course not literal.



                “Belong with me” does not have the connotation of possession- it is just saying the person or thing and the speaker (“me”) should be together.



                When talking about romantic partners, I think the former (“to”) suggests an existing relationship (“you are already my partner and I am happy about that”), whereas the latter (“with”) suggests a desire that the subject be in a relationship with the speaker (“you should be my partner”/“I wish you were my partner”).






                share|improve this answer















                “Belong to me” suggests possession. When something belongs to you, you own it. But when speaking about people the possession is of course not literal.



                “Belong with me” does not have the connotation of possession- it is just saying the person or thing and the speaker (“me”) should be together.



                When talking about romantic partners, I think the former (“to”) suggests an existing relationship (“you are already my partner and I am happy about that”), whereas the latter (“with”) suggests a desire that the subject be in a relationship with the speaker (“you should be my partner”/“I wish you were my partner”).







                share|improve this answer














                share|improve this answer



                share|improve this answer








                edited Feb 11 at 15:33









                userr2684291

                2,59421531




                2,59421531










                answered Feb 11 at 15:10









                MixolydianMixolydian

                1,67618




                1,67618





















                    5















                    You belong to me I "own" you



                    • I have "rights" over you, I can make decisions on your behalf, etc.

                      Often with the implication that I
                      define the "value judgement" framework governing our relationship.

                    You belong with me



                    • It is right and proper that you should be close to me.

                      Often with the implication that the reason for this assertion is
                      either to comply with some "external" value system, or because it's in
                      your best interests (not necessarily just because it's what I want).



                    I have stolen this section completely from Fumble Fingers answer, as I agree with this totally. But I disagree with the analysis there.



                    Many people still romantically love the idea of "belonging to" someone, see this Dean Martin song:




                    You Belong to Me



                    Dean Martin



                    Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle

                    See the pyramids along the Nile

                    Just remember darlin', all the while

                    You belong to me




                    BUT



                    Many people dislike the phrase, as they don't like being described as being owned by someone. This takes in the background of women literally being their husbands property for hundreds of years in the UK*.



                    To contrast here is the Police Song "Every Breath You Take", some people consider this a romantic song even though it was written to be a creepy song about a stalker citation of Sting




                    Every single day

                    Every word you say

                    Every game you play

                    Every night you stay

                    I'll be watching you



                    Oh can't you see

                    You belong to me

                    My
                    poor heart aches

                    With every step you take




                    And it takes in the
                    controlling nature of some relationships where one partner has the belief they are correct to control completely the other partner's every action and sometimes thoughts.



                    Even if people don't think of literal ownership, it sounds possessive and slightly controlling.



                    I would imagine the descendants of slaves are also not keen on this terminology, but I base this on nothing more than how I think I would feel.



                    So I would recommend not using the TO form yourself, as you never know how the other person will take it.




                    *I believe America is the same but my American social history is not good enough to make a definite statement.






                    share|improve this answer

























                    • Contrast those lyrics with the lyrics to Sting's Every Breath You Take in which "You belong to me" distinctly adds to the creepiness of all the "I'll be watching you" verses. The choruses and the bridge seem to lean more toward to the romantic interpretation taking "to" to mean "with". But I think Sting very deliberately chose to use "You belong to me" instead of "with me" to end the first line of the chorus; to keep the creepiness simmering, and to twist the straight-up lonely romantic achiness of the bridge more toward creepy-land.

                      – geneSummons
                      Feb 11 at 23:16






                    • 1





                      "Many people are beginning to dislike the phrase" : Beginning to? using the phrase "you belong to me" in this sort of relationship context has always had an uncomfortable edge to it & been subject to disapproval throughout my life, not counting early childhood that's from the 70's on, so you have that wrong.

                      – Pelinore
                      Feb 12 at 1:37






                    • 1





                      @geneSummons in interviews Sting is confused why people find that song as romantic it was written as a creepy stalker song.

                      – WendyG
                      Feb 12 at 9:26






                    • 2





                      @Pelinore, That is me couching my lack of history on the issue in vague phrases. And if I wanted a pedantic (hopefully humorous response) I could say dislike since the 60s is recently as women have belonged to men for hundreds of years

                      – WendyG
                      Feb 12 at 9:29















                    5















                    You belong to me I "own" you



                    • I have "rights" over you, I can make decisions on your behalf, etc.

                      Often with the implication that I
                      define the "value judgement" framework governing our relationship.

                    You belong with me



                    • It is right and proper that you should be close to me.

                      Often with the implication that the reason for this assertion is
                      either to comply with some "external" value system, or because it's in
                      your best interests (not necessarily just because it's what I want).



                    I have stolen this section completely from Fumble Fingers answer, as I agree with this totally. But I disagree with the analysis there.



                    Many people still romantically love the idea of "belonging to" someone, see this Dean Martin song:




                    You Belong to Me



                    Dean Martin



                    Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle

                    See the pyramids along the Nile

                    Just remember darlin', all the while

                    You belong to me




                    BUT



                    Many people dislike the phrase, as they don't like being described as being owned by someone. This takes in the background of women literally being their husbands property for hundreds of years in the UK*.



                    To contrast here is the Police Song "Every Breath You Take", some people consider this a romantic song even though it was written to be a creepy song about a stalker citation of Sting




                    Every single day

                    Every word you say

                    Every game you play

                    Every night you stay

                    I'll be watching you



                    Oh can't you see

                    You belong to me

                    My
                    poor heart aches

                    With every step you take




                    And it takes in the
                    controlling nature of some relationships where one partner has the belief they are correct to control completely the other partner's every action and sometimes thoughts.



                    Even if people don't think of literal ownership, it sounds possessive and slightly controlling.



                    I would imagine the descendants of slaves are also not keen on this terminology, but I base this on nothing more than how I think I would feel.



                    So I would recommend not using the TO form yourself, as you never know how the other person will take it.




                    *I believe America is the same but my American social history is not good enough to make a definite statement.






                    share|improve this answer

























                    • Contrast those lyrics with the lyrics to Sting's Every Breath You Take in which "You belong to me" distinctly adds to the creepiness of all the "I'll be watching you" verses. The choruses and the bridge seem to lean more toward to the romantic interpretation taking "to" to mean "with". But I think Sting very deliberately chose to use "You belong to me" instead of "with me" to end the first line of the chorus; to keep the creepiness simmering, and to twist the straight-up lonely romantic achiness of the bridge more toward creepy-land.

                      – geneSummons
                      Feb 11 at 23:16






                    • 1





                      "Many people are beginning to dislike the phrase" : Beginning to? using the phrase "you belong to me" in this sort of relationship context has always had an uncomfortable edge to it & been subject to disapproval throughout my life, not counting early childhood that's from the 70's on, so you have that wrong.

                      – Pelinore
                      Feb 12 at 1:37






                    • 1





                      @geneSummons in interviews Sting is confused why people find that song as romantic it was written as a creepy stalker song.

                      – WendyG
                      Feb 12 at 9:26






                    • 2





                      @Pelinore, That is me couching my lack of history on the issue in vague phrases. And if I wanted a pedantic (hopefully humorous response) I could say dislike since the 60s is recently as women have belonged to men for hundreds of years

                      – WendyG
                      Feb 12 at 9:29













                    5












                    5








                    5








                    You belong to me I "own" you



                    • I have "rights" over you, I can make decisions on your behalf, etc.

                      Often with the implication that I
                      define the "value judgement" framework governing our relationship.

                    You belong with me



                    • It is right and proper that you should be close to me.

                      Often with the implication that the reason for this assertion is
                      either to comply with some "external" value system, or because it's in
                      your best interests (not necessarily just because it's what I want).



                    I have stolen this section completely from Fumble Fingers answer, as I agree with this totally. But I disagree with the analysis there.



                    Many people still romantically love the idea of "belonging to" someone, see this Dean Martin song:




                    You Belong to Me



                    Dean Martin



                    Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle

                    See the pyramids along the Nile

                    Just remember darlin', all the while

                    You belong to me




                    BUT



                    Many people dislike the phrase, as they don't like being described as being owned by someone. This takes in the background of women literally being their husbands property for hundreds of years in the UK*.



                    To contrast here is the Police Song "Every Breath You Take", some people consider this a romantic song even though it was written to be a creepy song about a stalker citation of Sting




                    Every single day

                    Every word you say

                    Every game you play

                    Every night you stay

                    I'll be watching you



                    Oh can't you see

                    You belong to me

                    My
                    poor heart aches

                    With every step you take




                    And it takes in the
                    controlling nature of some relationships where one partner has the belief they are correct to control completely the other partner's every action and sometimes thoughts.



                    Even if people don't think of literal ownership, it sounds possessive and slightly controlling.



                    I would imagine the descendants of slaves are also not keen on this terminology, but I base this on nothing more than how I think I would feel.



                    So I would recommend not using the TO form yourself, as you never know how the other person will take it.




                    *I believe America is the same but my American social history is not good enough to make a definite statement.






                    share|improve this answer
















                    You belong to me I "own" you



                    • I have "rights" over you, I can make decisions on your behalf, etc.

                      Often with the implication that I
                      define the "value judgement" framework governing our relationship.

                    You belong with me



                    • It is right and proper that you should be close to me.

                      Often with the implication that the reason for this assertion is
                      either to comply with some "external" value system, or because it's in
                      your best interests (not necessarily just because it's what I want).



                    I have stolen this section completely from Fumble Fingers answer, as I agree with this totally. But I disagree with the analysis there.



                    Many people still romantically love the idea of "belonging to" someone, see this Dean Martin song:




                    You Belong to Me



                    Dean Martin



                    Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle

                    See the pyramids along the Nile

                    Just remember darlin', all the while

                    You belong to me




                    BUT



                    Many people dislike the phrase, as they don't like being described as being owned by someone. This takes in the background of women literally being their husbands property for hundreds of years in the UK*.



                    To contrast here is the Police Song "Every Breath You Take", some people consider this a romantic song even though it was written to be a creepy song about a stalker citation of Sting




                    Every single day

                    Every word you say

                    Every game you play

                    Every night you stay

                    I'll be watching you



                    Oh can't you see

                    You belong to me

                    My
                    poor heart aches

                    With every step you take




                    And it takes in the
                    controlling nature of some relationships where one partner has the belief they are correct to control completely the other partner's every action and sometimes thoughts.



                    Even if people don't think of literal ownership, it sounds possessive and slightly controlling.



                    I would imagine the descendants of slaves are also not keen on this terminology, but I base this on nothing more than how I think I would feel.



                    So I would recommend not using the TO form yourself, as you never know how the other person will take it.




                    *I believe America is the same but my American social history is not good enough to make a definite statement.







                    share|improve this answer














                    share|improve this answer



                    share|improve this answer








                    edited Feb 12 at 9:33

























                    answered Feb 11 at 16:01









                    WendyGWendyG

                    1,327511




                    1,327511












                    • Contrast those lyrics with the lyrics to Sting's Every Breath You Take in which "You belong to me" distinctly adds to the creepiness of all the "I'll be watching you" verses. The choruses and the bridge seem to lean more toward to the romantic interpretation taking "to" to mean "with". But I think Sting very deliberately chose to use "You belong to me" instead of "with me" to end the first line of the chorus; to keep the creepiness simmering, and to twist the straight-up lonely romantic achiness of the bridge more toward creepy-land.

                      – geneSummons
                      Feb 11 at 23:16






                    • 1





                      "Many people are beginning to dislike the phrase" : Beginning to? using the phrase "you belong to me" in this sort of relationship context has always had an uncomfortable edge to it & been subject to disapproval throughout my life, not counting early childhood that's from the 70's on, so you have that wrong.

                      – Pelinore
                      Feb 12 at 1:37






                    • 1





                      @geneSummons in interviews Sting is confused why people find that song as romantic it was written as a creepy stalker song.

                      – WendyG
                      Feb 12 at 9:26






                    • 2





                      @Pelinore, That is me couching my lack of history on the issue in vague phrases. And if I wanted a pedantic (hopefully humorous response) I could say dislike since the 60s is recently as women have belonged to men for hundreds of years

                      – WendyG
                      Feb 12 at 9:29

















                    • Contrast those lyrics with the lyrics to Sting's Every Breath You Take in which "You belong to me" distinctly adds to the creepiness of all the "I'll be watching you" verses. The choruses and the bridge seem to lean more toward to the romantic interpretation taking "to" to mean "with". But I think Sting very deliberately chose to use "You belong to me" instead of "with me" to end the first line of the chorus; to keep the creepiness simmering, and to twist the straight-up lonely romantic achiness of the bridge more toward creepy-land.

                      – geneSummons
                      Feb 11 at 23:16






                    • 1





                      "Many people are beginning to dislike the phrase" : Beginning to? using the phrase "you belong to me" in this sort of relationship context has always had an uncomfortable edge to it & been subject to disapproval throughout my life, not counting early childhood that's from the 70's on, so you have that wrong.

                      – Pelinore
                      Feb 12 at 1:37






                    • 1





                      @geneSummons in interviews Sting is confused why people find that song as romantic it was written as a creepy stalker song.

                      – WendyG
                      Feb 12 at 9:26






                    • 2





                      @Pelinore, That is me couching my lack of history on the issue in vague phrases. And if I wanted a pedantic (hopefully humorous response) I could say dislike since the 60s is recently as women have belonged to men for hundreds of years

                      – WendyG
                      Feb 12 at 9:29
















                    Contrast those lyrics with the lyrics to Sting's Every Breath You Take in which "You belong to me" distinctly adds to the creepiness of all the "I'll be watching you" verses. The choruses and the bridge seem to lean more toward to the romantic interpretation taking "to" to mean "with". But I think Sting very deliberately chose to use "You belong to me" instead of "with me" to end the first line of the chorus; to keep the creepiness simmering, and to twist the straight-up lonely romantic achiness of the bridge more toward creepy-land.

                    – geneSummons
                    Feb 11 at 23:16





                    Contrast those lyrics with the lyrics to Sting's Every Breath You Take in which "You belong to me" distinctly adds to the creepiness of all the "I'll be watching you" verses. The choruses and the bridge seem to lean more toward to the romantic interpretation taking "to" to mean "with". But I think Sting very deliberately chose to use "You belong to me" instead of "with me" to end the first line of the chorus; to keep the creepiness simmering, and to twist the straight-up lonely romantic achiness of the bridge more toward creepy-land.

                    – geneSummons
                    Feb 11 at 23:16




                    1




                    1





                    "Many people are beginning to dislike the phrase" : Beginning to? using the phrase "you belong to me" in this sort of relationship context has always had an uncomfortable edge to it & been subject to disapproval throughout my life, not counting early childhood that's from the 70's on, so you have that wrong.

                    – Pelinore
                    Feb 12 at 1:37





                    "Many people are beginning to dislike the phrase" : Beginning to? using the phrase "you belong to me" in this sort of relationship context has always had an uncomfortable edge to it & been subject to disapproval throughout my life, not counting early childhood that's from the 70's on, so you have that wrong.

                    – Pelinore
                    Feb 12 at 1:37




                    1




                    1





                    @geneSummons in interviews Sting is confused why people find that song as romantic it was written as a creepy stalker song.

                    – WendyG
                    Feb 12 at 9:26





                    @geneSummons in interviews Sting is confused why people find that song as romantic it was written as a creepy stalker song.

                    – WendyG
                    Feb 12 at 9:26




                    2




                    2





                    @Pelinore, That is me couching my lack of history on the issue in vague phrases. And if I wanted a pedantic (hopefully humorous response) I could say dislike since the 60s is recently as women have belonged to men for hundreds of years

                    – WendyG
                    Feb 12 at 9:29





                    @Pelinore, That is me couching my lack of history on the issue in vague phrases. And if I wanted a pedantic (hopefully humorous response) I could say dislike since the 60s is recently as women have belonged to men for hundreds of years

                    – WendyG
                    Feb 12 at 9:29

















                    draft saved

                    draft discarded
















































                    Thanks for contributing an answer to English Language Learners Stack Exchange!


                    • Please be sure to answer the question. Provide details and share your research!

                    But avoid


                    • Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers.

                    • Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience.

                    To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers.




                    draft saved


                    draft discarded














                    StackExchange.ready(
                    function ()
                    StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fell.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f196291%2fwhats-the-difference-between-belong-to-me-and-belong-with-me%23new-answer', 'question_page');

                    );

                    Post as a guest















                    Required, but never shown





















































                    Required, but never shown














                    Required, but never shown












                    Required, but never shown







                    Required, but never shown

































                    Required, but never shown














                    Required, but never shown












                    Required, but never shown







                    Required, but never shown






                    Popular posts from this blog

                    How to check contact read email or not when send email to Individual?

                    Displaying single band from multi-band raster using QGIS

                    How many registers does an x86_64 CPU actually have?