mjhjmtu

In the gym I go to, we don't have personal trainers but gym instructors - they just stay there and guide pretty much everyone if they have doubts or they see someone exercising in a wrong manner.

From what I know, there are 3 gym instructors. I always go to gym in the afternoon and I always meet the same instructor. He's a very cool dude and I have no personal problem with him, even though he is not actually my friend: I never have contact with him outside the gym.

However, he ALWAYS talks to me, from the moment I get there until I leave. I only have about an hour to train and since he is always talking to me, 95% of the time I don't get to finish all the exercises I should.

I have tried some "silent" approaches:

1) Going with earphones on: didn't work, he still talks to me and practically ignores that I am listening to music.

2) Giving short answers (trying to show that I am not inclined to talk): he seems not to notice that someone does not want to talk.

I don't want to be rude with him because again, he is a nice person and I don't think he does that on purpose. The subjects we talk about are not the problem either. The only problem is that I want to be able to finish all my exercises.

How can I express my willingness to be able to finish my workout, should it mean for him to talk less to me? I don't want to completely stop talking to him, but not that frequently.

From the way you ask the question, it sounds like you don't have an issue with the person or the conversation, you have an issue that you aren't able to complete your workout.

Especially when you want someone to change their behavior because of you rather than because of them it is best to emphasize the problem you are having and let them change their behavior to help you (this strategy can also work even if they are at fault in some way to avoid them pushing back).

You could come across as rude if you were to say that they are distracting you or preventing you from finishing your sets. However, if you say something like

I have a hard time focusing on my exercise and talking at the same time and I am worried I am not going to finish today, could we chat another time?

This way, he can help you with your workout just by ending the conversation: rather than feeling bad because he lost a conversation partner, you give him an opportunity to feel good by helping you out (of course he may not feel this way, but that's not up to you: you are definitely not being rude if you are giving that option).

In addition, you are making clear that the conversation itself is not the problem because you are offering to postpone it. By referring to that day in particular, you avoid calling them out on their past habit of conversing with you (which is not really their fault anyways if you haven't made your preference clear yet).

If they argue at all (maybe they say you don't have to speak back or something?) you can be more direct, while keeping the focus on yourself. "I know myself too well, even just listening slows me down because I stop to think about it."

If you wanted this person to completely avoid talking to you when you are working out, even for a short time when you arrive, you will probably need to be a bit more direct and you are more likely to hurt some feelings, but you can use a similar script: just explain that you will always be pressed for time and can't be talking during the limited time you have to exercise. Just as long as the focus is still on your exercise habits rather than their distraction you are doing the best you can to get what you need without being rude - you can't expect any more from yourself than that.

Although I do not have any direct experience with Brazil or gym culture in Brazil, in the U.S. probably one of the least offensive needs one could assert in a gym is a desire to focus on working out: that is a value that many in that space will share and understand.

First thing is that he is not your personal trainer so there is no need to stand beside you and talk to you for whole the time. (Personal trainer generally get payment according to hour basis)

Second thing, he is gym instructor. His job is to give attention or talk to all the members in gym. All members deserve equal attention of gym instructor. His behavior affects on gym quality because he is not concerned about how much we should talk to one specific person.

You have joined the gym for specific purpose that may be weight loss or to remain fit and fine. His job is to help you all to achieve you goal and he is not doing that. Rather he is more interested in talking on various subjects which are irrelevant to exercise. So he is diverting you from your goal and himself also. He does not seem professional.

You can remind him one exercise rule.

Exercise Rule - You should not talk while doing any exercise.

Suppose your goal of doing gym activity is weight loss, then you can talk to him politely,

Sir, I am very desperate to lose my 3 kg weight within this month. I have to concentrate on my activity. I hope you would help me to achieve my target. I can not talk while doing exercise.

Suppose your goal of doing gym activity is to remain fit and fine. Then you can suggest him to change his own daily workout time and join with you so that he will not engage in chit-chatting. Or, you can politely tell him,

Sir, I heard from experts that if we talk while doing any exercise then we do not get good result of that exercise. So, better to stop talking and let me concentrate on my workout.

So, here you are getting above two options. Also, it will not become rude to him. You also said in your question that you don't want to stop talking to him. You can talk with him after finishing your daily workout and for 5 minutes at the end.

Last but not least, you are paying and taking service from them. So, sometime you need to be straight forward while talking. There is no any need of taking care of his feelings.

Eh, why do you want to prevent this? In Bucharest, my mother assigned my to gym and she put for me a special trainer. And when we get there, and I start to do work, then I do talk with her( with trainer) and when I get in sala, I see everyone talking to each other while doing their gymnastic. That is pretty normal.

In my point of view, it is absolutely not awkward situation. It’s a normal thing. Maybe, he wants to make your time go faster and easier for you, and in the same time to work good there, so that the time will go faster. And maybe he wants to keep you busy. Who know...

According to my logic, it is awkward to say to your trainer “I don’t want to talk with you”. No offense, but this thing awkward is only in your head.

I do talk with my trainer, big deal. And I don’t even feel it is an “awkward” situation, because it is not.

It is awkward when you don’t do a good job there. It is awkward when you don’t listen to your trainer, that’s when it is awkward. But talking? No, it’s not.

Myself, if I were to tell to my trainer, I would feel awkward. Because, it is not polite, not respectful.